In January we all try to carry out our New Year's resolutions.

Many Dutch want to lose weight in the upcoming year.
Others have promised themselves to spend more time on doing sport, eat healthier or finally stop smoking.

I'll try to be nice to my coffee machine...

Like most pubbed authors I start my day with a mug of coffee. I'm in for Latte, just a bit of very strong coffee with lots of hot milk.

Unfortunately, my family goes for 'regular'. But if you add so much milk to regular coffee, all you get is dead water.

A few months ago the invention of the century entered my home: an Automatic Coffee Center.

All you have to do is press a button and each cup of coffee is made on demand.

I was so happy with the new resident!

Was... Yes reader, was...

The coffee machine is more demanding than a newborn baby, and I spend my days cleaning the grinder, refilling the water reservoir, adding coffee beans and getting rid of the coffee grounds.

But that isn't all. Time and again a little red light starts blinking in a demanding way, and the coffee maker wants to be cleaned on the inside, or the lime scale has to be removed.

Sigh. Both processes take almost an hour.

'No big deal,' you say? 'Just press the cleansing button and get on with your other chores?'

If only it were that easy, dear reader!

No, the machine wants you to sit next to it, and follow its instructions meticulously. If you don't, it gets stuck.

No, I'm definitely not doing the happy dance when the "I want to be cleaned now" light glows up. With a big sigh I refill the water tank, throw away the grounds and put a cleansing tablet into the machine.

Next, I spend almost an hour of my valuable time on cleaning the frother, pressing buttons at the right moment, refilling the water reservoir, etcetera, etcetera.

At last the machine is done, and I press the button to brew myself a well deserved cup of coffee.

But all I get, is a demanding red light: "Lime scale removal please".

Good grief!

"You ungratefull thing," I whisper in frustration. "You're not easily satisfied, are you?"

The machine gives me a reproachful look.

Oh nonsense, that's just my vivid imagaination.

In a hurry, I dissolve citric-acid based powder in warm water, add it to the coffee machine’s water reservoir, and spend an other hour of my time.

When the boring process is finished at last, I try again to brew a cup of coffee.

Three miserable brown drips of dregs are all I get.

"Oh, you pesky creature!" I call out in utmost frustration, "I'm spending my entire afternoon pampering you, and what do I get in return for all my hard work?"

The machine hears me, I swear.

All lights start blinking red, and angrily hissing the coffee center dies.

And whatever I try: from begging to commanding the machine, it's no use. The expensive coffee maker is fit for the scrap heap.

And now, I've put some coffee beans into an old nylon panty hose, and I'm desperately trying to grind them with a hammer.

Since all the shops are closed, this is the only way to get myself a cup of coffee.

Oh yes reader, in the upcoming year, you bet I'll treat my coffee maker nice!

Have a great 2006, all you wonderful readers. May all your wishes come true!

Greetings from The Netherlands!